Welcome back to The Mom Challenge. If you remember, we started this series a while ago. I’ve been wanting to do another ‘challenge’, but I have been drawing a blank. Today something happened. At first I was a little…put off by it. And then, I realized this was the exact inspiration that I needed for a new Mom Challenge post. (Right – always look for the positive!)
Before we go on – you can check out all of our past ‘challenges’ here.
Don’t judge me. That’s this week’s challenge. Well, not to judge period.
But first, a little background of where all of this is coming from. Yesterday my post on our chore magnets was featured on another website (thank you). Essentially – they were magnets. With chores on them. Josh could pick what chores he wanted to do and earn his allowance. We also color coded them to help earn TV/Video Game time. I had lots of emails asking “what did you put on the magnets?” So I posted my list. Some things included chores like “Take out the trash.” some things included things like “Try a new food.”. And yes. One of them included “Brush your teeth.” (Don’t worry – we had 2 magnets for that! One for the morning and one for the evening!) Well. Then I got this lovely comment:
“Overall, a generally clever idea, but I was appalled at one “chore magnet”. Brushing one’s teeth is not a chore! It’s a matter of personal hygiene, like washing your hands, and taking baths, and going to the potty. Failure to brush your teeth can land you in the hospital under general anesthesia. Not to mention black teeth and no friends and very likely bullying. You’re paying your child 50 cents a day to do something they are REQUIRED to do, twice a day everyday, no questions asked??”
I love comments. I love hearing your thoughts, your ideas and getting to know my readers. Just so you know! Please comment away!! :)
I’m very sorry I appalled you. I absolutely agree with you. Dental hygiene is so important! That’s why I added it to our chore magnets! I wanted to make sure that it was done. Twice a day. For the right amount of time. And included mouthwash and flossing.
I know how important dental health is (please see above comments!) What you may not know is that sometimes everyday things can be torture for different people. Especially kids who suffer from sensory issues and Autism. Which we just happen to have. (Thankfully things like brushing teeth are not an issue for us anymore!)
BUT…why does it matter?
(This was the quote that started this whole series!)
WHY do women and mothers judge other mothers like this. Especially mothers who are there, trying, involved, working to make their children’s lives the best that they can.
Stay at home moms judge moms who are working. Working mom’s are judging moms who choose to stay at home.
Breast feeding moms and formula moms. Diaper moms vs cloth diapers. Organic vs non-organic. Parents who choose to let their kids sleep in bed with them.
Mom’s who let their kids cut their hair however they want, the mom who let’s her son wear his superman costume to the grocery store, the pacifier moms, the blanky moms, the moms who run through the fast food line.
The over weight child’s mom, the child who is not participating in extra curricular activities, the child who is participating in too many extra curricular activities.
And apparently the mom who paid her child 50¢ to brush his teeth.
Being a mother is the hardest job in the world. WHY are we picking out women to put down. To judge. I could understand if maybe I was being judged because my child didn’t even OWN a toothbrush. But listen. I’m here. I’m trying. I take the best care of my child just like the next mom. If I didn’t love my child I wouldn’t write a ‘mom’ blog. If you didn’t love your child – you wouldn’t be reading an article about a Mom Challenge.
I’m not perfect. I don’t pretend to be. I should have made my son eaten more vegetables. (Here. Want to judge me? The only fruit he will eat is a banana. I made him try a bite of pineapple the other day and he gagged. Trust me. I’m pretty sure it was the biggest form of torture that he’s ever been put through.) I probably shouldn’t let him stay up as late as I do on the weekends. I should make him cut back on his video game time more.
But he’s a good kid. He’s respectful. He’s polite. He’s smart. He’s sweet.
And, to be honest. It’s not really anyone’s business. (Now, I know I put it out there on the internet for all to see so maybe it is other people’s business…) How about this. It’s not anyone’s business to judge me as a mother.
It’s time to put the boxing gloves away. We need to quit bringing others down and instead support other moms. We need to tell each other, “Hey, I know it’s hard. You are doing a good job.” We need to quit competing on who can be the best and be ourselves. We need to start worrying about other people’s kids less and our own more. But most of all, we need to quit judging other mothers.
Not only will cutting out the judging make us nicer, better people, but that will translate into being an even better mom! Living a positive life makes you happier! Being happier means you are more fun to be around! Plus, let’s lead by example! Let’s teach our kids that not everyone does things the same way. Some people have different ideas. That’s what makes us unique. That’s what makes us special. And that’s why we, as a whole, work. We each have something important to bring to the table. We can all learn from each other.
And please, don’t think this post is about a comment I recieved. I actually received lots of comments on this post and others that were not so nice. Normally I delete them. But this time I let them inspire me. This challenge is not directed at anyone nor is it to make someone look or feel bad. The fact that mom’s need to support each other has been on my heart for a while now. Parenting is hard – let’s not make it harder!
Don’t forget to check out the other 33 week’s Mom Challenge posts here.