The Mom Challenge – Week 27 – The Power of a Note
It’s week 27 of The Mom Challenge! If you want to see all of the challenges see them all here.
One thing that I think is super important to establish early on is a clear line of communication. I want to make sure that my son looks forward to telling me about his day; that he feels comfortable telling about things that may embarrass him; talks to me about things that upset him. I want him to know that I will do my best to give advice, to listen, to understand and that I won’t lie to him if asked about something (and that I expect the same in return) Things happen, true there are consequences; however, but no matter what I still love him.
Having that relationship won’t just happen. But starting out while they are young will help lead to years of good communication! I wish I would have started this sooner because I really love the idea. It’s simple. It’s sweet. It can be started very early. Want to know what it is? (This is also really great if your spouse is out of town a lot or works odd hours!)
Love notes.
First you will need to have a special place to drop off your notes. You can choose to have a mailbox in the kitchen, mini mailboxes in each of the bedrooms (Target has some out for Valentine’s Day in their Dollar Bins that would be perfect!) or just make your own! Get creative! (The one in the photo above is a Melissa & Doug Mailbox you can get here)
Then, make sure you have paper, pens, markers, crayons and envelopes available.
(Source)
Then get to writing, drawing or both!
Letters are a great way to express yourself. Having some ground rules set up will make sure that it stays a positive experience.
Some rules you might have could be don’t show your letters to anyone.
If someone asks you to keep something a secret you need respect that.
Notes are meant to encourage, support and uplift. Not to hurt or embarrass.
Remember that the point is to keep the lines of communication open and encourage your child to talk to you!
Or you can chose to create journals for your children like Mama Jenn did!
And in case you need an extra reason why this idea is wonderful – think about reading your letters a year, five years, ten years later! 🙂
The Mom Challenge: Week 26 Parenting Resolutions
Happy New Year! I hope everyone had a wonderful 2012 and that 2013 is going to bring lots of happiness, health and lots of wonderful memories! To read all of the past Mom Challenges go here.
The beginning of a new year always, for me, brings reflection of the year past. It’s the time of year that I think about what experiences and opportunities we had. It’s also the time of year that I think about what I want the next year to bring.
This is the time of year that you hear about people making their resolutions to lose weight, get organized, get out of debt or read more books. But how about making parenting resolutions? Or if your kids are old enough you can make resolutions together.
Last year our family resolution was to have family game night once a week. 2012 was filled with Mousetrap, Go to the Head of the Class, Uno, and Bowling. Our nights are filled with pizza and time together. It’s fun pulling out games from when Andy and I were little. (Does anyone remember The Grape Escape?)
Last summer we went to an auction and we got TONS of vintage games for less than $1 each. Most of the games were donated, but we kept some like Snatch, Sunken Treasure, the original Clue and Gambler (which by the way, is a really fun game!)
This year Josh made a resolution (well, I may have had some influence in the resolution choice) to limit his video game time. Ok, maybe I had a lot to do with his decision. My momolution (you like that word? Yeah, I do too.) is to have date night once a month. Josh and mom date nights.
I’m pretty excited to start our monthly date nights. I think it’s really important for us to have time and to create memories together. In January our date is going ice skating. I haven’t been in years! What better way to have fun than to make a fool out of yourself in front of your 9 year old?
What parenting resolutions will you make this year?
The Mom Challenge: Week 22 – Creating Peace during Homework Time
Welcome to week 22!! You can find all of the challenges one of two ways! One, you can click The Mom Challenge up at the top! It will take you to them all! OR you can click categories to your right and select The Mom Challenge. Please pin and share with friends on Facebook to get the word out about The Mom Challenge! 🙂
If you are interested in sponsoring The Mom Challenge please send me an email at [email protected]
‘At our house homework time can be a struggle. And to be honest, who can blame him? After being at school all day who really wants to come home and do more work? Not me! And apparently, not my son either.
We’ve had the days where he answers every question with “I don’t know.”
We’ve had days where there is whining. Sitting there just not doing anything. Complaining. Grumbling.
We’ve had to make the trip back to school to pick up a book; we’ve had projects magically be due the next day (don’t you love that?)
But we’ve also had awesome days. We’ve worked really hard to get to a point where homework isn’t a chore (well, so much of a chore).
Here are some tips that have worked for us:
Moms (and Dads) you have homework too! You have to be aware of what is required and needed so you can help your child succeed. If your child knows that you are involved with their homework they will be less likely to try to sneak something by!
– Do you know your child’s homework schedule? Do they get homework each night, once a week or does it change? Josh get’s his week’s homework at the beginning of the week and it’s due on Friday. (Which, by the way, is SO nice. If we have a busy night or just a hard day we can skip homework that night and make up for it the next day).
– What supplies do you need to keep at home? Do you have them all? Do you have pencils, paper, pens, markers, poster board? Do you have Power Point if they need to make a presentation?
(NOT that this has anything to do with homework….just made me laugh! LOL) 🙂
– Are they supposed to show their work on math assignments? Or is just the final answer fine?
– What happens if an assignment is missed? How will it affect their grade?
Alright so you know what’s going on and what the teacher expects! Congrats! That’s half the battle! Now you need to let your child know what you expect.
Do you have a rule about when video games, playing outside or TV time can begin? Do you expect homework done first thing when your child gets home? After dinner? Or half before and half after?
If your child is old enough to get homework then they are old enough to help decide when to do it. If you make your child involved in the planning process they are more likely to follow through! Our rule is you can play for 30 minutes and then math/English homework has to be done. Then he can do his 30 minutes of reading in bed at night time. Breaking up the work makes it easier for my son to get it all done without being a daunting task.
After you and your child come up with a plan – FOLLOW THROUGH! 30 minutes means 30 minutes! This is the part I struggle with the most – and not on purpose. I just lose track of time. Timers are essential in our home! 🙂
Make sure all of the supplies are readily available to your child.
Be there to help with homework, to answer questions, but NOT to do it for them.
Encourage them to do their best.
Check their work. If your child knows you are going to check it then they are more likely to do it right the first time! Plus, if you notice your child struggling you can be proactive about getting them extra help!
Reward positive behavior! If homework is a constant struggle try an incentive for having 3 good homework days, then a week, then 2 weeks and so on. You might offer to let them play for 45 minutes before they start their work, staying up Friday night an extra 30 minutes, having a friend over, or a favorite dinner. Show your child that everyone has to come home and work – they do homework and you do work too (whether it’s office work, making dinner or house work). It’s just part of life and it never goes away.
But it feels awesome to get it done – and get it done right! Building these great habits now are so important to our children (and our sanity!) for the future!
Do you have any tips on getting your child to do their homework?
The Mom Challenge: Week 21 – How to Avoid the Gimmies this Holiday Season
Welcome to week 21 of The Mom Challenge! You can find all of the challenges here.
It’s that time of year again. Toy catalogs are coming in the mail, commercials are in full force and wish lists are being made.
The “gimmies” are in full swing and if we aren’t careful our wonderful little children turn into green-eyed monsters.
How to avoid the gimmies this holiday season:
1. The Power of a Dollar
I think one reason that kids want (and sometimes expect) to get so many things is because they honestly have no clue how much things cost. Show your kids how far money goes by giving them a budget (bonus points if they earn their shopping money!) and letting them shop for family members. I know some families draw names and others buy for everyone – it really is what works best for you.
2. Giving to those in need
Giving our children the opportunity to give to others, I think, is so important. I want to keep my son shielded from the harshness of the world, but I also want him to know that he has it pretty darn good! I don’t think it would have ever crossed his mind before that somewhere out there someone would be grateful for his ‘junk’ or that someone would be excited for a pair of shoes – even if they didn’t cost $140. At our house we only have 1 child so Josh doesn’t have siblings to buy for, but I do give him a budget of what he can spend for our Holiday giving. The chance to give is all around during the holidays – Toys for Tots sets up toy bins at lots of retailers, many stores have trees that have children (or the elderly’s) wish list on them or you can fill shoe boxes for Operation Christmas Child (just to name a few!). We have a yearly tradition of cleaning out our closets a few days after Thanksgiving donating items we no longer use to make room for any new items Santa might bring. Clean closets and items for donations? Win win!
3. Give time – not stuff
This holiday season give the gift of your time! Pinterest has tons of great ideas on “to do” advent calendars (I’ll be making one this year!) where each day you do something different to celebrate the season, whether it is baking cookies, decorating the tree or reading a story together. I’ve also seen awesome ideas of putting things like bed time passes in stockings for kids to stay up late.
(Salt Water Kids’ fort kit tutorial)
Saltwater kids made an awesome fort kit – easy, cost effective and something to do together!
4. Choices, choices, choices
The first time that Josh handed me a Toys R Us catalog that was circled like crazy I laughed. I flipped through it and realized he circled things I knew perfectly well that he would never play with. He just circled it to circle it.
When I saw this Christmas list from Somewhat Simple I thought – how smart is she? I think it’s important for kids to know what they want and also for them to learn how to make choices! This list helps them do that. Plus, it really helps decipher those catalogs filled with circle after circle after circle! You really know the top wish list items!
5. Realize that you don’t need thousands of presents (MOM!)
I will admit that Josh usually is pretty good about telling us the top 5 or 6 items he wants. I am just not so good at listening. I wanted to buy stuff. I wanted him to wake up and walk into the living room over flowing with presents. I would buy things that I thought were cool even though I knew the chance of them getting played with were slim to none. I would buy things just so I could have more things to wrap. But I didn’t do it just for Christmas. At Disney World I wanted to buy him souvenirs. I asked him in every gift shop (you know the ones they make you walk through after every single ride?) and he would say no thanks. I should have just listened to him. But instead I bought something at most of them. I ended up spending a few hundred dollars on Disney stuff. He could care less.
As mom I want to give him everything. But I’ve learned that if I just give him the 5 or 6 things he really asks for he’s more than happy. If I buy him the 5 or 6 things he wanted plus another 50 things he’s just as happy. And I’m not broke. 🙂
How do you avoid the gimmies at your house?
The Mom Challenge – Children’s Eye Health & What You NEED To Know
The Mom Challenge – Week 19 You are Awesome
The Mom Challenge: Week 18 How to NOT raise a Bully
Look at things like road rage, fighting with your spouse, the music that you have on in your home/car, the television shows and video games your child sees, the jokes you and your husband/friends talk about. Do you see someone at the store as say “What is she wearing? She can’t possibly think that looks good.” Or catch yourself talking about your work day “he asked a million questions today at the meeting. Honestly, the guy is just in idiot.” Or yelling “learn how to drive!!!” You don’t have to say these things directly to the person – and you could just be talking out loud – but if your kids hear it think about how it transcends to them.
You don’t have to like everyone and everything. But you DO need to respect everyone (and their property!). Just like in the You Tube video that the news anchor pointed out. It’s none of anyone’s business to point out to her about her weight. And maybe that lady at the store loves what she is wearing.
The Mom Challenge: Working to Bully Proof Your Child
Week 16 of the Mom Challenge – Raise an active child
The Mom Challenge: 20 Things your child’s teacher wants you to know