The Mom Challenge: Week 5

Week 5 – I can’t believe it! 🙂 Did you miss a week? It’s ok! Start in now or start from the beginning – here is a link to all of the Mom Challenge posts.
Make sure to join in on the discussion over at the Blog Frog – it’s free to join!
And I love comments – BUT please, please, please be nice. Every mom who has clicked their way here has come because they love their children. I know to some these challenges are probably silly or are things you already do. If you already do them – awesome – if you do them sometimes – great – if you have a desire to do some – wonderful. I think even if you actively do some of the challenges then this should just be a big kudos to you! I think that everyone of us is a great mom – after all we are all here because we love our kids and are trying our hardest right?!? Let’s build ourselves up – encourage one another! And if you do something at your house and it works let us know! I hate deleting comments – I believe everyone is entitled to their opinion but I hate the thought of someone coming to the Mom Challenge to try to learn something new and be an awesome mom just to feel in adequate. Long story short: Be nice. Please.
Anywho
Week 5: Short and sweet. We’ve talked about realistic expectations. And being positive.
 
This week’s challenge is to find something that your child does that makes you proud – and celebrate. It doesn’t have to be a giant party but do something a little more than just telling them! I think this can be such a fun challenge and one that is unexpected! You don’t have to spend a lot of money or even a lot of time. The point is for the child to be acknowledged for something and for you to go out of your way to tell them awesome job – you rock! It feels so good to be appreciated and acknowledged. Show them that the little things matter!
Here are some examples:
Learning to tie their own shoes – get a fun colored pair of shoelaces
Doing their homework – surprise them with their favorite dinner
Putting away their toys – rent a movie from Red Box
Waking up on time for school (perfect for those of you with kids who either don’t like to get up or high school kids!) – make a cake and write awesome job for waking up!
Spot your child reading – pick up a few new books
Paint an awesome picture at preschool – frame it and put it up
Write a note, bake something, take them to a movie, rent a movie, post a picture, pick up a favorite candy bar, let them have a Sprite with dinner (this is a big deal at our house!!) do something!
I am going to make a cake for Josh I think. A green one – that’s his favorite color. And have pizza on Friday. He’s being doing I step this week. And I want him to know I’m proud of him for doing his best! Pick something that your child does – even if it’s small and something you expect them to do anyways – point it out. Recognize! I’m expected to cook dinner every night – but it feels good to get a pat on the back, hey mom that was great! Well do the same for your kids! Show them that you appreciate all that they do – even the small stuff!

       

The Mom Challenge: Week 4

Hi ladies! Week 4 – can you believe it? We’ve been on the challenge for a month now! Are you new to the Mom Challenge? If so – no worries! You can jump in anytime. Here is the link to the past weeks challenges.
Make sure that you join us over at The Blog Frog. It’s free to join and we chat about all kinds of stuff!
Alright. Week 4. Last week we talked about having realistic expectations. This week it’s about staying positive. After all – staying positive is one of the keys to success!
Children – and adults – need positive attitudes and lots of praise.There are many benefits that praise and positive attitudes have. Behavior can improve, children feel better about themselves, children adopt the positive thinking ways. Plus if you use positive words and a positive attitude to your relationship with your children you better believe that it will spill over to other relationships! Nothing makes you feel better or less stressed that a positive attitude!
I used to teach pre-school. During that time we were taught many techniques to use in our classroom. One of the techniques used that pertains to behavior was simply praise positive behavior and ignore negative behavior. Granted if little Johnny decided to cute little Sally’s hair we had to say something! But the point was let the small stuff go! If you are trying to get 16 four year olds to sit down nicely, hands in their laps, and quiet you would be amazed that the easiest way to do that is to simply say “Oh I really like the way Bob is sitting there nicely.” Seriously. They all run over to the carpet to sit nicely. Kids want to please you! They want you to be proud!
If your child puts their plate in the sink – make a big deal about it! If they get dressed and you notice they have matching socks on tell them they rock! (Anyone else’s child have a thing about wearing mismatched socks?) Did they use abnormally great handwriting – tell them! You want to encourage these positive behaviors. The more you encourage them the more your child will want to do them.
Make sure you tell your kids how proud you are of them even if they fail at something. “You were really brave for trying to ride your bike without the training wheels. I know you will get it next time!” “I know your art project didn’t come out like you thought it would but I think it looks great!” Fear of failing is one of the top fears people have. And the fear of failing can hold people back – they are scared to try new things! Try to instill in your child that it is ok to fail – as long as you try your hardest. Failing isn’t something to be embarrassed about – it happens to everyone. Failing at something doesn’t mean that you are a failure – you just need extra practise. And it is important to try again!
There are so many ways to praise your child. I’m sure that you’ve seen the poster 101 ways to praise a child.
What are some ways you like to praise your child? Make sure to head to The Blog Frog to join in on the discussion!!

       

Mom Challenge week 3: Set Realistic Expectations

Oh my gosh. I am SO ready for this house to be done! Painting is almost finished and I couldn’t be happier. I’ve learned that the only thing I hate more than painting the walls is sanding the walls. BOO! But carpet gets delivered Wednesday so this is the home stretch! Woo hoo! And then I can get my house back in order! And only a week and half until our living room furniture is delivered. Oh yeah.
But the challenge. Are you new here? Or did you miss a challenge? No worries you can jump in anytime! Find the other challenges here.
The goal this week is make sure that you have realistic expectations. If your expectations are too high it only creates stress for both your child and you.
Could you imagine if your boss gave you a job to do that was impossible? You would work as hard as you could to get it done to the best of your ability only to be brought into his office to be told how all that hard work means nothing. You failed, you didn’t do well enough, they are very disappointed and well you just aren’t good enough for the job. I don’t want my child to feel like that!
For example, I want Josh to do well at school. I know he’s super smart. And I used to expect him to get straight A’s. After all he could do it if he worked hard! But we struggle with handwriting. Josh works on it at therapy and it’s been improved 100 times over, but it’s not as good as most kids in his class. For him to write his spelling words twice and do it with ‘A’ level handwriting it would take 2 hours! Trust me, we did it once. And the teacher gave it back at the end of the week with a B. I was so mad! But I just realized that YES I want my child to do his best all the time. And yes he is capable of writing them nicely but it was not worth the agony on my part but more importantly his!
So now, if he does his best that’s all that matters. His report card has a D+ in handwriting. But really who cares about his handwriting grade? (Well I do, but his resource teachers keep telling me to forget it and that it doesn’t matter.) My child isn’t going to get straight A’s. We can still set goals but it’s not fair for me to expect something out of him that isn’t realistic. Now when a spelling test comes back that he didn’t miss any words due to handwriting mistakes we celebrate! And if he misses one, I don’t nag – “Oh Josh you knew that one. All you had to do was write it nicer and you would have gotten it right.” Missed only one – awesome job! You did great!
So this week look at your expectations. Is it realistic to expect a 3 year old to not only clean up their toys but to also have them put away in an organized way? How long do you really expect a 4 year old to last while you are grocery shopping after being out all day running errands? Straight A’s for your child? How many activities do you expect your 3rd grader to excel in?
By adjusting your expectations – and thinking about it through your child’s eyes – it can really help you be more understanding, less stressed and calm in a situation that would otherwise could drive you crazy!
What expectations do you have of you child? Are they realistic ones?

       

The Mom Challenge Week 2

 

(Hey there! Are you new to The Mom Challenge? If so click here to find out info and to see the other week’s challenges! Feel free to join in anytime!)

Hooray it’s week 2 of the Mom Challenge! How did eating dinner together go last week? We did better than in the past – it’s still something to work on for us. Our main problem is that the house we moved into has a very small eat in kitchen so we traded our larger table for a pub table that seats only 2. And our bar only has 2 stools at it – I think I may need to invest in a third chair. That and trying to work around schedules – daddy doesn’t get off work until 8:30 so usually it’s just Josh and mommy dinners. There wer some great comments and ideas over at our Blog Frog community as well – make sure to check them out.

Alright week 2. The challenge is: Slow down.
This one is going to be super hard for me. I wake up each morning and write my to do list. (I’m a lister) And it usually is HUGE! I know perfectly well that I have more things to do than time.
I feel like I rush Josh from the time I get him up to the time I say good night.
“Hurry and get dressed.”
“Quick go brush your teeth.”
“Move, move, move or we are going to be late!”
“Here I’ll just do it, we’ve got to hurry.”
The only thing that rushing does is create stress and missed oppurtinities. I found this poem online the other day and it’s perfect for this week’s challenge.
slow down mummy, there is no need to rush,
slow down mummy, what is all the fuss?
slow down mummy, make yourself a cup tea.
slow down mummy, come spend some time with me.
slow down mummy, let’s pull boots on for a walk,
let’s kick at piles of leaves, and smile and laugh and talk.
slow down mummy, you look ever so tired,
come sit and snuggle under the duvet, and rest with me a while.
slow down mummy, those dirty dishes can wait,
slow down mummy, let’s have some fun – bake a cake!
slow down mummy, I know you work a lot,
but sometimes mummy, it’s nice when you just stop.
sit with us a minute,
and listen to our day,
spend a cherished moment,
because our childhood won’t stay!
~ R. Knight

 

I don’t want to miss a chance to do something special with my kids just because my to do list isn’t complete!
Also, sometimes Josh tries to be helpful and I say no thanks. I mean if he pushes the grocery cart we will be in the store forever. Or he wants to wash the dishes – that’s nice but water will go everywhere and what if he drops the plate and plus, they won’t get all the way clean. He wants to help cook dinner but I just have to get this done. I know aweful right? Instead of being in a hurry and wanting these things done I should have just let him do it. It would have made him feel good and be more apt to help in the future. I could always re-wash the dishes after he’s long asleep.
Now I know that we can’t just put off our entire to do list to play with our kids. Wouldn’t that be nice??? And I do think that kids need to learn that there is a time where sometimes moms and dads just need to get some work done. But I challenge you this week to slow down just a little – take that extra time to let your kids in on your day. Your to do list will be there again tomorrow. And so will the laundry. I promise. Because laundry never goes away.
I usually go to work while Josh is at school, so we both get home about the same time. And this is usually the time where I’m running around, cleaning, doing laundry, getting dinner ready or we are having to get home and rush to run 1,000,000 errands. Not this week. This week I’m going to slow down.
Come join the conversation over at BlogFrog! It’s FREE to sign up! I’d love to chat with you!

       

The Mom Challenge: Week 1

One in five families eat together only occasionally or never. That’s 20% of families! I hear it all the time – it’s so important to sit down and eat with your kids. But why? If you would have asked me 15 minutes ago, before I was researching for this article, I would have said “You should eat dinner with your kids because that way you can talk to them, learn about their days, teach them how to communicate and be a good normal mom.” But holy cow! There are SO many benefits.

10 reasons you should eat dinner with your kids

1. You and your child will talk more. And what’s better than learning about your pre-schooler’s newest favorite color?

2. You get to teach your child how to effectively communicate. Which is SOOOOO important. Because you don’t want them to get older, get married and then end up at counseling to learn how to effectively get the point across to their spouse that they want them to do the dishes. Just saying.

3. You can learn about potential problems your child is having at school.

4. And while your talking about school – you get to find out all about school projects, tests and books. And statistics show that kid’s that eat dinner with their parents (and kid’s with nosy parents in general – ok not totally sure about that part) get better grades.

5. And when those projects, book reports and good grades start rolling in you get an hour each night to tell your kids how much they rock. To tell them how their basketball game was amazing. How fabulous they did in their school play. Pretty much you get an hour to make your kid’s feel good about themselves.

6. Your children are out feeling good about themselves, all super confident. Do you know what that means? Eating dinner together translates into kids being less likely to try alcohol, cigarettes and drugs.

7. Hooray! Drug free is the way to be! But that’s not the only benefit that you and your kids are going to get from family dinners. Studies show that when families dine together we eat more fruits and veggies.

8. And you guessed it, eating more fruits and veggies means less than a chance for overweight kids.

9. Overweight and obese children (and adults for that matter) are at a higher risk for becoming depressed or having other emotional problems.

10. And after eating dinner together, learning all about how Suzy’s BFF’s new backpack is THE coolest thing ever and how Johnny’s friend in preschool ate paste – again – you, MOM, feel awesome about yourself for having such awesome kids. And then your awesome kids will help you clear the table which makes for a less stressful, happier home.

All from taking the time to eat dinner together.

Amazing right?

So the challenge this week is to eat dinner with your kids. Pick a few nights and make no excuses. Shift around your schedule (what could be more important than making your kids feel like drug free rock stars!?) work around practises, set the DVR, whatever it is. Make time this week to eat dinner with your kids.

Dinners, like everything else, get better with practise. Make sure to turn off the phones, turn off the tv and talk to each other! Listen to each other, ask questions.

Need help with getting conversations started? How about playing Would You Rather or Apples to Apples? We keep a deck of cards around and it’s such a fun way not only to start conversations but to learn things that you otherwise wouldn’t get the chance to learn – and to laugh! (If you don’t have the game or want to buy the game – make your own set of cards! Try googling Would you rather for kids or apples to apples for some great suggestions!)

Challenge set. Week 1. Eat dinner with your kids. At least 3 times this week. Eat with them. Talk. Eat. Laugh.

If there are any takers – click over on the left hand side where it says Blog Frog visit my community. It’s free to sign up and I would love to have a live chat with all you moms out there! We can discuss how this week’s challenge went, tips on getting our kids to try new foods, conversation starters and more. Hopefully we get a few ladies who are interesteed — I would love to meet everyone!

       

The Mom Challenge – starting on Mondays

**UPDATE** To Join in & get started:

Thanks for stopping by! 🙂 The Mom Challenge has already started – but it’s never too late to join in!
I’m so excited about a series that I’ve been working on.
Yup. You read it right. It was inspired by a quote I found online a few weeks ago.
perfect mother
It got me thinking. I would say that my relationship with my son is a good one. But everything can be improved on right? And what else could I do to show him how awesome he is! And the ideas started pouring in.
And so The Mom Challenge was born. Each week I’ve got a mini challenge for you – something fun I promise! Do a few or do them all. This is a project I’m really excited about!
The challenges will start each Monday. On Saturday’s we will check in and see how the week went! If I get a good response we might start live chats Saturday nights to get together and chat about our week, advice, tips, whatever! 🙂
There are some great things coming – lots of surprises – can’t wait to show you!!