The Mom Challenge: Working to Bully Proof Your Child
It’s week 17! If you are new – it’s never too late to join! To see all of the other weeks please visit here.
That’s a picture of my son. He’s a really sweet kid. He is smart. He is handsome. He is funny. And I could go on and on! He’s also been bullied before.
As a mom, when your child has been bullied it makes your heart ache and your blood boil!
Here are some tips to keep your child from being bullied:
1. Talk to them and start early! We need to teach our children that everybody is special; we each have our own unique ideas, talents, style, and voice. Being different isn’t a bad thing! We learn from each other – if we all were the same this world would be a boring place to be!
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2. Know their friends. Unfortunately the child who is playing alone is more likely to be targeted for bullying. You don’t want your child to be the odd man out of the group – and you don’t want your child to treat someone else like that! Getting involved in your children’s friends not only ensures that you know what is going on but you can maintain a safe environment. Have them over to play games or to go camping. I would much rather know that my house is full of stinky 9 year olds and know exactly what is going on than to have to wonder! At some point as hard as it is for us to accept it, our children won’t want us playing with them and their friends. But make sure to stay engaged! Make a snack and sit down and eat with them. Ask them if they want to order a movie and have it play in the living room. Keep the doors open. You don’t have to hover but you can be present!
3. If you think your child is struggling socially talk to their teacher. My son has Autism and making friends is really hard. We got him started in some programs at school like Circle of Friends and a Big Brother/Big Sister type group. The teacher also helps in assigning groups and choosing Josh & another student to do special jobs around the classroom. You can get involved too! I volunteer in the classroom and on field trips so it helps me get to know the other students better. We invite them over to play on the weekends. No one wants to be alone! Ask them who they play with and what they do. If you feel like your child is lonely try to initiate some activity and ask for help.
4. Monitor phone/internet use. Cyber bullying is unfortunately something we and our kids have to deal with. Kids that are struggling with cyber bullying often don’t tell anyone because they are embarrassed or ashamed. Keep the computer in a central location. If you notice your child exiting out of windows or turning it off quickly when you walk into a room know that there might be something up. Monitoring Internet activity is hard! With it being on televisions, tablets, computers, phones – even the DS! And text messaging is hard to monitor as well! Tell your child not to accept friend requests from anyone that they don’t know. And if they do get a harassing/embarrassing/or mean text/email not to delete it and show you right away.
5. Teach your children that they are awesome people. Instill confidence, assertiveness, respect for others and compassion. Tell them you are proud of them! Show them that they have a voice in the family and that they will be listened to. That doesn’t mean that you will agree with them or follow through with their wishes, but you will respect them and consider their opinion. When your child feels confident and assertive they are much less likely to be bullied or to put up with being bullied!
There are so many ways that we can teach our children that bullying is wrong! We need to make sure that we talk about it because it is such a real issue!!
Next week we are going to talk about how to make sure your child doesn’t become a bully. I know as moms it is hard to think our kids could ever do something like that, but I think it’s important to teach our children! There are so many influences on our kids and it is so important that we make sure that we are the biggest influence of all!
For more discussion on how to bully proof your child visit us on Facebookor over at The Blog Frog!
If you are interested in anti-bullying resources here are a few books (and a movie) that have really great reviews:
The Juice Box Bully: Empowering Kids to Stand Up For Others $7.88 (ships free with Amazon Prime)
Cyberbully DVD $10.93 (ships free with Amazon Prime)
Stand Up for Yourself and Your Friends: Dealing with Bullies and Bossiness and Finding a Better Way (An American Girl Book) $9.95 (ships free with Amazon Prime)
Confessions of a Former Bully $7.99 (ships free with Amazon Prime)
Howard B. Wigglebottom Learns About Bullies $10.20 (ships free with Amazon Prime)
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Tara says
As a mom to a child who has been bullied, I know how important this topic is. Great post! Thanks.
Don’t Bully® says
Don’t Bully® Australia Supports You ! The more people we have the Louder the Anti-Bullying Message